Eyes Wide Open (K.Blais)

I turned 39 over the Christmas break. It wasn’t a huge monumental occasion or anything like that, but it did give me a reason to pause for a moment and think about life so far. I’ve learned a lot in my 39 years.  Probably though, I believe that I have learned more in the last 12 than in the previous 27. 

As a child, teenager, and even young adult I believe that I, in some ways, coasted through life a bit oblivious, unaware, and sometimes with my eyes closed. I had a loving and innocent childhood. I led a somewhat sheltered life, but I don’t see anything wrong with being sheltered as a child. As a teen and young adult I attended a great university, obtained three degrees with honours, and got a job in a fulfilling career field. I got married and began a comfortable life with my husband and friend. 

I grew up believing that people are generally good and want to help others. The times in my life where this was proven completely inaccurate (at least by some) were shocking and devastating to me. Betrayals, lies, injustices, and the like shook me to my core in those early days of my ‘awakening’. I quickly came to realize that not all people are good and not all people want to help others. For some this may have been common knowledge, but for me it was as if my eyes were opened wider than they had ever been. 

Twelve years ago, just about the time when I had my son and started a family, I began to realize that not everyone wants what’s best for others. Many want what’s best for them. This was a foreign concept to me in certain ways. I still struggle with understanding it to some degree as I grew up believing that if we want what’s best for everyone then what’s best for us will naturally fall into place. 

Sometimes your childhood beliefs are the hardest ones to adjust. 

In all actuality I haven’t changed that thinking entirely. I still believe that when everyone benefits we all win. I still believe that most people are good and that most people want what’s best for us, at least in my world (I hope) they do. 

But, when we encounter those individuals who are out for number one only, who take and take and take and seldom give back, who chastise and criticize us for their own shortcomings, and who look to hurt rather than to help then maybe it’s time to clean house, to take out the trash, and to burn the bridge. 

I believe in giving everyone a fair chance, but I also believe that there are times when we need to rely on our own common sense and intuition. There are times when we need to use our God-given intelligence and realize when enough is enough. There are times when we need to see those who really love us and those who only love what we do for them.

Unfortunately, it is often in our time of need, when we are at our lowest points, when we look to those individuals that we thought were our closest allies and friends, that we are brought back to reality. Sometimes we are disappointed, perhaps even shocked, by their inability to be there for us. These are the times when we need to have our eyes wide open to the individuals whom we choose to allow (and who we choose to allow to remain) in our lives. We need to ask ourselves whether the people who take the most time, energy, and love from us will actually give the same in return. 

The rest of our lives lie stretched out in front of us like an open road, whether we are 39, 59, or 79. At any age, at any stage, and in any situation maybe it’s time to pause and reflect on what we see in our lives at this point and if who we have in our lives is a positive reflection of who we are and what we hope to achieve. If we have uncertainties about those things and people maybe it’s time to ask questions and to see what the responses are. We may not always like the answers, but the questions will always be worth asking. 

Maybe it’s better to have our eyes wide open sooner, rather than later. 


Enjoying Halloween (K.Blais)

It’s calmed down a bit in my house now. At one point earlier pumpkin guts were flying, scoops were being tossed back and forth, and the excitement and constant chattering of my six year old was making me a bit edgy to say the least. I love Halloween, but it also instills a bit of craziness into the air around here.

My table is still full of sopping wet newspaper, the pumpkin seeds are still begging to be roasted in the oven with seasoning salt, and the floor needs a small scrubbing, but it’s Halloween so these things are all expected and so it’s all good.

It’s technically the night before Halloween, Devil’s Night I believe it is called, and my kids are super excited for tomorrow night’s events of trick-or-treating and hanging out with friends.

There is something deliciously and delightfully eerie about Halloween. There hangs in the air the feeling that things are dark, suspenseful, and a bit spooky in an anticipatory sort of way.

Perhaps it’s because of this excitement that Halloween is one of life’s little pleasures that I still make time to enjoy. Each year we take the time to decorate the house and yard for fall and Halloween, we carve pumpkins and roast the seeds the night before, and we head out trick-or-treating to family and friends’ houses, which also ends up being an excellent opportunity to catch up with people we don’t get to see very often.

Life passes by way too quickly and we seldom get to enjoy the things that we once did as kids. And sometimes, when we do enjoy those things, we are told to “grow up” or to “act our age”. Halloween is one of those times when we can get away with acting young and silly, we can dress up and take on different personas, and we can allow ourselves to be spooked by the things that go bump in the night.

Even if you don’t ‘celebrate’ Halloween, take some time in the near future to be a child again and to do something you once really enjoyed when you were young. Let loose and step out of the adult comfort zone that we’ve become accustomed to and allow yourself to act much younger than your age.

Happy Halloween!