It has been a very interesting week, to say the least. Knowing I needed a pick me up, a special friend sent me this:
(image courtesy of Bing images)
It spoke volumes to me at the time. I had had a series of negative things happen to me, I felt a little out of control of my own world, and I felt like everything I came into contact with was turning snaky. One particular incident was the icing on the cake for me – being told, in so many words, that no matter how hard I had tried to be a good friend in the past my efforts were still in vain. I would be blamed for falling short and yet another one of my apparent shortcomings would be pointed out.
Now don’t go feeling sorry for me – please don’t. I am a girl with big shoulders and, trust me I have heard and dealt with worse. This time, however, the timing was bad, (or good depending on how you look at it.) You see, I realized that I didn’t need anyone in my life that would make me feel like a failure or like a bad friend, and, practicing my own preaching (finally), I decided it was time to let go.
It was time to let go of holding on to something which would never be the same again. It was time to realize that we all make our own decisions in life and there will either be people who will support us in those decisions or people who won’t. More specifically, we may have people in our lives that just can’t support us. They can’t stand by and watch us make decisions which we know aren’t in their best interests. They can’t be a part of a world which will eventually destroy us. So sometimes, as those people, we just need to let go.
Later in the day, my supportive friend sent me another quote, one which I could relate so much to that I eventually shared it on social media.
(image courtesy of Bing images)
It didn’t matter that I was considered an inadequate friend to someone else, what mattered was that I had other people who cared about me enough to make me smile again: Friends who told me that instead of feeling defeated that I should feel “triumphant” because of the life I have and the life I will continue to have regardless of this incident, friends who can tell exactly how I am feeling by how I respond to their texts and won’t believe me when I say “I’m fine” when really I’m not, and friends who know exactly what to say when the days are dark and others seem determined to break me down.
I have to say that sometimes we need those negative people in our lives too because they give us the reality check we may need. We might realize that while we yearn for the way a friendship was in the past we realize through their actions that it most likely will never be the same again and that it may be for the best. We might realize that it is time to move on and to focus our energy on those who value who we are and who appreciate the caring nature we have. We may need to remove ourselves as the doormat of the lives of the negative and focus on helping those who want to be helped. We may need to spend our time being a part of someone’s life who actually wants us in it.
I’ve thought long and hard over the week and I’ve realized that while I have reconstructed this particular bridge so many times, there is no lumber left to build a new one. This time the bridge has burnt and there will be no rebuilding it.
I have also realized another thing:
I won’t be sending a boat.