Stick a fork in me, because I am done.
I give up.
I am not usually a quitter; however, I believe that I am throwing in the towel. As I have said before, I’m usually the one hanging in there until the bitter end, holding onto the last shred of hope in any given situation. Very rarely do I give up, but over the last couple of weeks it has become very clear to me that there some things which I MUST quit, things which I clearly MUST give up as they have started to cause more grief and stress in my life than anything else.
Let me begin by saying that not everyone will share in my opinions and that’s ok. My current life perspective is that I should forgive those who ask, but that doesn’t mean that I have to keep finding myself in positions where I am used, taken advantage of, or hurt. Quitting isn’t always about admitting defeat. Quitting can be about realizing that things are not going to change, to accept that, and to move on in a different direction.
Firstly, I have decided to quit trying to help those who refuse to help themselves. That may seem harsh, so let me explain. Sometimes we find ourselves trying to ‘help’ people who are determined to only see the negative in their lives. Try as we might, we find ourselves in an endless cycle of encouraging, motivating, and supporting these people endlessly only to have them ignore our well-intentioned advice or to even slap us in the face by continuing to make bad decisions, furthering their own troublesome situations or circumstances. Someone once said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. Sometimes we may wonder if we are insane when we help and help and help and continue to expect the other person’s patterns to change. Being the ‘helper’, the listener, the good friend is exhausting when it is taken for granted and seldom reciprocated.
Secondly, I will no longer allow myself to feel inferior to those who don’t know (or who don’t bother to get to know) me. I have all too often (even though I have promised myself repeatedly that I wouldn’t) spent way too much precious time, energy, and emotion caring about what others think, especially those who barely know who I am. We all need to remember to not place value on ourselves through the standards of others. A lovely picture of any thing, anyone, or any situation can be painted – we need to be careful not to judge our own behind the scenes action with someone else’s highlight reel.
Thirdly, I am done with feelings of inadequacy. I try my best and I do what I can, but sometimes that doesn’t seem like it is enough for some people. I’ve come to the realization that to some, nothing will ever be enough. There will always be issues of competition and comparison, and I feel the need to take myself out of that game. I am who I am. I strive to keep my nose to the grind and to be a respectable, hard-working, and kind person. I don’t expect anyone to take pity on me when I go through rough times, and the only thing that I ask is that my family and I are shown the respect that we give to others.
Lastly, I will stop letting my insecurities define me, who I am, and how I feel about myself. We all feel insecure at times, even the most confident people have moments of self-doubt and uncertainty, but we can’t let those insecurities cripple us. When we allow ourselves to doubt our own abilities and to whole heartedly believe in our fears and to listen to the voice that whispers “I can’t’, a voice which often echoes in our heads, we will never reach our potential, we will never strive to achieve our goals, and we will never realize how great we can really be.
Maybe we all need to be quitters. Perhaps we all need to be done with those things which no longer are positive for us and which do not lend themselves to fostering happiness in our lives. Only when we realize this will we find ourselves able to take the steps required to change things and only then will we find the courage to quit and to begin again.
Quitting doesn’t have to be about giving up or about giving in. It doesn’t have to be about taking the easy route or being lazy. Quitting something harmful to our emotional (and/or physical) health provides the opportunity for a fresh start and a new beginning.
Sometimes it’s ok to be a quitter.
(all images courtesy of pinterest.com)