The Power of Forgiveness (K.Blais)

Insulted. Attacked. Belittled. Taken for granted.

We have all been there at one time, in one way or another. How do you handle a situation when you or someone you love has been hurt, betrayed, or abused? Once we get over our initial anger and frustration, we know that we must forgive in order to heal and move forward ourselves. But, that is not always an easy task. Many professionals have theories and techniques in dealing with forgiveness, and while I am by no means a professional in this field, I do believe that forgiveness has three basic steps. It’s not a simple process, by any means, and one that does require time. (Please note: Some situations may require a professional’s help in working through. I am a strong believer and advocate for counseling and therapy. There is no weakness in asking for help.)

Forgive others.

This is not an easy task, especially if we have been wronged in a way that hurts us greatly. Forgiving is not forgetting or pretending that it didn’t happen. The truth is that it did happen and we must learn from the experience without holding onto the pain.

Forgiving is not excusing the behaviour, or allowing others to make excuses for themselves. Only someone who is not to blame is excused. We forgive when a wrong has been committed.

Forgiveness is not giving others permission to continue their hurtful behaviours towards us; nor is it about condoning the behaviour in the past or in the future. It is about letting others know that this type of behaviour is not acceptable, but has been forgiven.

Forgiving others is not about admitting weakness in oneself. It’s about showing your own personal strength in realizing that other people make mistakes and need forgiveness.

Forgive yourself.

Sometimes the hardest part on the road of forgiveness is forgiving yourself for being hurt; for allowing others to hurt you. You may feel angry and betrayed with yourself for permitting the situation or hurt to take place. At times, the biggest betrayal may be in feeling that you have let yourself down in not standing up for yourself, in not stopping the behavior earlier, and in even not recognizing the warning signs in order to prevent the hurt from happening in the first place. This may even be especially difficult when the hurt has been part of a repetitive cycle. Sometimes the hardest person to forgive is yourself: but we shouldn’t be harder on ourselves than we would be on anyone else.

Move on.

Reconciliation may come with forgiveness, and it may not. The decision to reconcile with the person we are forgiving is an individual choice. We can also choose to maintain our distance. Forgiveness is not always about forgetting. It can also be about remembering and learning from our own mistakes in the future. We have to move on in order to heal and to find peace. We can remember in order to take away something valuable from the experience and to prevent it from happening again in the future. Yes, we are taught to forgive “seventy times seven times”, but we were also given thinking minds and human will in order to do our best to learn from the experience and to prevent the situation from happening again.

This Easter weekend, remember that forgiveness began on the Cross: our best and truest example of what forgiveness is and the power it has.

We can find the power to forgive others, as well as ourselves, and we can find peace in order to move forward.

Strength. Wisdom. Compassion. Freedom.

(image courtesy of drbexl.co.uk)

(Dear Readers, Wishing you a Blessed Easter! May you always find strength, wisdom, compassion, freedom, and forgiveness in your heart. Thank you for your continued support. Yours, ~ K ~)

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8 thoughts on “The Power of Forgiveness (K.Blais)

  1. What meaninful and true words my dear friend!! Life is funny sometimes ya know. Forgiving someone they say will bring you peace and a calm but the hard part is when the same people keep betraying you and bringing you down, how is one to handel that?? Deep down I know that FORGIVNESS is the answer, but really how often can one keep forgiving the same person, or how often does god exspect us to?? Your words def help me with the many questions. Thanks so much hon 🙂 These words have brought a feeling of tranquility to me this eve, thank you!! xo Her is a special Easter Blessing from my family to you and yours 🙂
    May Christ Jesus truly bless you this Easter, as you have been a blessing to all who know you, and may he bless thoes you hold close to your heart. HAPPY EASTER!! xo love you sweetie ❤

  2. What a wonderful read, with such meaning, depth and perception. Forgiveness can be one of the hardest things to do, but in some cases the most rewarding. It has taken me a while to forgive some, but now that I have my heart is light and fufilled with joy rather that hate. You are right on the forgetting part, I probably will never forget, but that is ok because the recurring cycle has been broken so the betraying and hurt will stop. God wants us to forgive and lighten our heavy hearts, so this Easter will be about forgiveness and love. Thank you for all the positive you have brought to my life. 🙂 let’s love and forgive. 🙂 blessings to you and your family.

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